Where to start
The psychotherapy, counselling and psychology field can be very confusing if you are unfamiliar with how it all works and have no experience of seeking such help and don’t know where to start. Here are a few points to consider:
People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. They prefer suffering that is familiar to the unknown.
— Thích Nhat Hanh
Are you ready for change?
Engaging in therapy is about your investment in your personal development and the change process involved in that development. Change involves talking openly and truthfully about yourself. A good psychotherapy relationship is one in which you can safely tell your truth – truths that may be uncomfortable to reveal, discuss and work with in other kinds of relationship. If you feel ambivalent about starting therapy, or feel a bit stuck or scared to look at difficult things this can also be a source of uncertainty when considering the therapeutic change process, and in these cases only you can decide whether you are ready and what you are willing to tackle. Now may not be the right time. Ask yourself how you will do if you just carry on as you are without help.
How motivated do you feel to facing, talking about and doing the work needed to overcome your current difficulties?
- Not at all motivated
- Indifferent, I’m not bothered one way or the other
- A bit, I need to make changes but wish I could just take a pill to fix me
- Somewhat, I know I can’t go on like this but am uncertain about change
- Quite, I want to make changes and see how I feel
- Very, I’m ready to address my issues and am willing to do what it takes
- Extremely, I’m really keen and excited to learn more about myself and make any necessary changes to my life
The higher your motivation, the more chance you have of benefitting from psychotherapy. Strong motivation to engage, to accept help, to making a commitment to facing some discomfort in the service of personal growth, and to make a real effort to apply new learning each week are essential requirements if your work with any psychotherapist is to have any chance of success. If in doubt, an informal chat with a prospective therapist can often allay any fears, answer any queries, and help you be clear on your level of motivation without spending very much money. I offer a reduced fee introductory meeting for this purpose. After that, if you want to have a detailed picture of your problem, needs and what therapy might be involved you can attend an assessment.
Once you are clear that you are suitably motivated, and are willing to proceed beyond assessment, start looking around at fees and get an idea of what costs might be involved.
- It’s useful to check around your area and compare fees, which can vary widely. However, high or low fees should not be considered an indicator of quality or competence. You’re paying for the therapist’s depth and quality of experience, qualifications, insight, skills, sensitivity and perception of your difficulties and needs. Some practitioners/ private clinics, for example, will charge you £160 or more per 50 minute session for little more than simple CBT, and £350 per hour for assessment of your needs.
- Decide what your budget will allow. Psychotherapy and counselling are not quick fix solutions and if you are serious about therapy you can expect to attend weekly for anywhere between ten sessions and any number of sessions, depending on your needs. In terms of how much money you invest in your support and wellbeing, it can be useful to get therapy fees into perspective by, for example, considering the average hourly rates you might pay a local plumber, mechanic or a dentist, doctor or chiropracter (at the time of writing this ranges from £60 per hour to hundreds of pounds per hour in some cases), or what some people spend socialising each month or on going on holiday. Decide for yourself what value you give to your development as a human being to be realistic about your therapy.
- Compare session length offered: do fees reflect 50 or 60 minute sessions for example?
Some practitioners/ private clinics, for example, will charge you £160 or more per 50 minute session for little more than simple CBT, and £350 per hour for assessment of your needs.
Choosing a Practitioner
- Look at the type of therapy offered but beware of any marketing hype that suggests one type of therapy or clinic is better than another. There is no reliable evidence that this is the case. Remember, like any other field of endeavour, very often it is the individual practitioner’s talent, experience and skills that count more than anything else. Research evidence suggests it is the therapist’s ability to listen, empathise, understand and accept that are central to change, not the type of therapeutic model or workplace setting he or she uses.
- Look at the experience, qualifications, length of training and personality of the therapist and how they come across to you on a personal level: genuine, or playing a role? How long was the training? And to what level? Some basic approaches qualify therapists in a few months for example.
- Has the therapist survived and healed from their own trauma, pain and suffering? Seeing a psychotherapist who has received years of psychotherapy to help heal their own wounds is, in my view, extremely important. Some models of therapy do not require their practitioners to have had even a single hour of therapy. My training lasted six years, for example, during which time I was in full-time therapy and also working with patients in the NHS.
- Check out my blog post: On Choosing a Psychotherapist
- Know the differences between a psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, psychiatrist etc
- Look for any additional support a therapist might offer, like between-session support, home or location visits, Skype and face-to-face sessions, or help in urgent circumstances
- Is the therapy process made clear to you before you start? Is there an assessment process and discussion about how therapy might proceed in your case? If not, are you happy to just start, keep going and see what happens without knowing what’s involved?
I offer an initial meeting for a reduced fee where we can meet informally to discuss things and clarify your direction, any uncertainty you might have and your level of motivation, with no obligation to divulge painful or difficult details and no pressure to continue beyond this first meeting. Confidentiality and privacy applies to any meetings we have.
During our first meeting you’re free to ask all the questions you like about the process, services offered and anything else that concerns you or may be helpful to you in getting the right help.
Visit my Blog
You can also get more information on what therapeutic work involves by visiting my Blog page, for example:
There are other posts covering depression and other topics and I usually add new posts once or twice a month.
I also offer an assessment-only service in which I can make a comprehensive assessment of your needs and offer recommendations to you on what types of therapies or support may be of most help in achieving your aims, with a summary analysis of what your presenting difficulties are and how they appear to work (referred to as a problem formulation) based on the information you have given me. Assessments can take anywhere between one and four sixty-minute sessions, with two sessions being average.
For an additional fee (see Fees page) I offer detailed support plans tailored to your specific needs that outline all of the above plus discreet therapeutic tasks that could enable you to tackle each specific problem step by step.
Please go to the Appointments page if you would like to meet for an initial informal chat to discuss possibilities and options that might be available to you. It could save you a lot of time trying to figure out what to do on your own or finding out by trial and error.
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