Affirmation

Existential Affirmation

Affirmations are statements of a supportive or motivational nature created as a form of autosuggestion by Émile Coué de la Châtaigneraie (26 February 1857 – 2 July 1926), a French psychologist and pharmacist.  Repeating affirmations throughout the day can be a means of redirecting and changing our thoughts, steering our mind and beliefs in a positive, self-supportive direction.  Example:

  • “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better”

Existential affirmation is not the same as affirmation statements.  It is a fundamental need we all share and is a source of identity stability and what we call ‘self-esteem’. It is the felt recognition of myself as the being that I am. And recognition of the other, as the being he or she is. It is like saying ‘I see you, I accept you, I value you just as you are in yourself without your having to do or say anything for me’. Affirmation addresses ‘existential value’ – a being’s inherent value as a unique expression of life, and specifically our inherent value as a unique human being. Affirmation, as the recognising of existential value, is the spiritual equivalent of nutritious food. It is in short supply in our current world and instead we usually settle for some form of conditional approval or acceptance that addresses our ‘social worth’. Social worth is tied to our ability to please others, and lies in our outward appearances and performance value: the equivalent of fast food by comparison because it tends not to sustain us for very long.

I teach existential affirmation practices of varying kinds with various functions in my therapeutic work. I’ve made a start at recording some of these practices, and you can get a copy of the first one below for a small donation that will then be used to help reduce fees for people in need of therapy.

  • Recordings are free of charge to current patients attending weekly who submit the form.

Grounding and Affirmation Practice No.1: £6 GBP or more

A 20 minute recording*, Grounding and Affirmation practice No.1. Used daily, it will have a cumulative effect on:

  • Helping you develop present awareness
  • Helping you develop body awareness and to begin the process of overcoming derealisation, dissociation and trauma
  • Affirming yourself: self acceptance, self-value, emotion regulation
  • Creating a daily space that will help you create a calmer, more relaxed state
  • Helping you feel more centred and grounded
  • Creating more ‘space’ within yourself for emotions, especially if you are easily overwhelmed or stressed

*WAV file is 213 Mb and is accessible via email link

Donations Help Others in Need

Accessing good quality psychotherapy can be extremely frustrating and slow when relying on under-funded public services. Private therapy often fills the gap in service provision as it can be accessed immediately and gives people who are struggling better control over a wider range of practitioners and approaches than those typically offered by the NHS and other public services.

If you would like to help those in distress who have little money get quick access to psychotherapy at a reduced cost please get a copy of my recorded practices for a small donation. More recorded practices to follow include:

  • Emotional Awareness and Containment Practice No.1
  • Identifying Your Deeper Needs
  • Guided Visualisation No.1 [for sleep and depression]

For each donation I reduce my fee by the same amount, so if you donate £30 it means someone who can’t afford therapy can have a 60 minute session of individual psychotherapy for free.

You can donate by bitcoin using the QR code below or Bitcoin Wallet address, or contact me for a unique code address if you are unsure.

You can also donate via the Paypal link below, or by bank transfer [email me for details].  As it is a donation, please don’t click on ‘buyer protection’ as this deducts Paypal charges from any donation you might make:

paypal-donate

bit
Wallet Address: 1G4jgHDDsJFChdU7HdC7xhyc27vJwSwne7

After sending your donation fill out the form and I will send you a link to the recording via email

 

 

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User Feedback

“Firstly it felt a little weird as I settled into it. I actually filled up with tears when it got to the section around the belly ( Have no idea why ) I had to fight to stay with your words as intrusive thoughts were coming in BUT I did manage to refocus and remain in the now …..I felt warm, and almost entitled to be ME …I hope this makes sense? I think quite deeply so I found this recording GREAT for me to sort of let go and just “BE” I will definitely try to incorporate this whenever I feel overwhelmed! I will be using it quite a bit in the coming months I can assure you! […] I LOVE the words ” No wrong or right” (entitlement/validation feeling came over me ) so I can just be ME and go with the flow whilst not needing to think about anything other than just ” being” […] It was really calming and felt safe and hassle free. The way you incorporate every part of the body is FAB! and LOVE the way you use the World as the support …yes I like that it makes the feeling of fear to ground oneself diminish somehow …In the past I have tried to ground by imagining myself as a tree and its roots growing into the earth BUT it didnt work for me AT ALL! […] I really am grateful and will definately use it regularly”

– J.K. review of Grounding and Affirmation No.1

 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. The affirmations you discuss, Stephen, are valuable. They are, I think, distinguishable from the excessive focus on self which characterizes “me culture”. Those of us who have experienced abuse in any form (or have simply been broken by the world) need reassurance that we have value and purpose. While it is true that we all have value and purpose in God’s eyes, not all know God.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stephen says:

    Hi Anna, many thanks for your comment. We have substituted real affirmation for conditional approval. This world as it is currently run isn’t interested in affirming the individual for her inherent value. Conditional approval gets us to perform in return for a pat on the head. It is tied to the ego and to power dynamics in our hierarchical society. We get kids to jump through hoops with conditional approval. They grow up thinking they’re only any good if they get an A in their Maths exam, or drive a BMW, or become famous etc. It’s a tragedy.

    I think the continual erosion of any notion of God is part of this, as you say. We lose our connection with the existential context of our lives and, in the rampant ‘me culture’ forget that we are expressions of that context – what some people refer to as God, the Creator etc.

    Liked by 1 person

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