I grew up in Glasgow, Scotland and have travelled extensively around the world.  Most of my learning about human distress and struggle has come from the wide variety of people, cultures, beliefs and situations I have encountered in my life, not least via events and periods of suffering, trauma or adversity that I have personally survived and worked through to a place of healing. 

We live in an increasingly socially, politically, and environmentally toxic world, thanks to the escalating abuses of power we see in global society, and our acquiescence to this. Mental distress is on the rise as a direct result of these socio-political abuses of citizens, the majority of whom appear to accept the ensuing cultural disintegration around us as ‘normal’. Indifferent people may well be accepting this cultural abuse and decline, but this does not make it normal.

Like many of my patients I’ve also lived through the kinds of experiences that can leave us feeling wrecked, overwhelmed or at the end of our rope: bereaved, unloved, alone, shamed, abused, betrayed, exploited, humiliated, furious, suicidally depressed, hopeless, and worthless.  I’ve experienced times where I felt too anxious, uncertain or stuck to talk about my experiences. Or worse: where I encountered people and services that clearly did not understand me, nor meet me with genuine compassion when I made the effort to reach out to them in a fragile state, thus compounding my primary struggles with further insult, shame and vulnerability.  This is an all-too common experience for many who turn to mental health services for help, only to find themselves labelled, medicated, stigmatised and feeling even worse about themselves.

In my opinion it is crucial for anyone seeking therapeutic help – particularly when we are shaky and unsure – to find a psychotherapist who ‘gets you’; who sees and understands your struggles very quickly. And who isn’t out to pathologise or stigmatise you. Mutual honesty then allows us to get to the heart of the matter quickly, saving time and money.

If you want to do more than have ‘positive thoughts’, then any psychotherapist you see must also have survived and healed from their own traumatic experiences and tortuous life struggles, in my opinion (many, I have found, have not). And who is willing to be straight with you, and to avoid the pretentiousness and role-playing that increasingly plagues our society today. Someone who is authentic. Why? Because people who haven’t suffered enough, nor healed from their suffering will never meet you honestly where you are. And because authentic people have the courage it takes to be unafraid of strong emotions, painful truths, and the kinds of frightening or embarrassing experiences that accompany trauma and abuse from which others may shy away or respond clinically or academically. Having someone fearless enough to be by your side whilst you tackle your own pain, is something academic qualifications, titles, affiliations, and clinical interventions alone cannot provide.

I’ve spent thousands of clinical hours with patients, psychotherapists, counsellors, psychiatrists, psychologists and other professionals in the workplace, and received many years of psychotherapy myself as part of my training requirements, as well as a person in need. I know what has been helpful and what hasn’t; what has engaged me and what has put me off, and this also informs my way of working, which you will find honest, genuine and to the point. Because, in my experience, personal authenticity in the therapeutic relationship is what makes the psychotherapy relationship effective.