The Reduction of Being: relating to others as objects

Martin Buber described the mindset required to relate to other beings as objects as the I-It way of relating.  When we relate to other beings as things instead of beings then we view them as objects of utility; assessing their usefulness to us in meeting our needs, rather than honouring them as fellow beings in…

Reactive Abuse: kicking the dog

“For the devil has no power . . . except in the dark.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones Beyond the Stereotype We’re accustomed to thinking of abuse as something that we can see with our eyes and show to other people.  The abuser raises a fist, can be heard through a wall, leaves a…

Destructive Envy and the Hungry Family

envy a feeling of discontent or covetousness of another’s advantages, possessions, or attainments; desire for something possessed by another: I envy her talent for decorating. Not to be confused with: jealousy – jealous resentment against a person enjoying success or advantage; anger or fear of losing something or someone to a rival http://www.thefreedictionary.com Far from…

Dissociative Identity Disorder

Still Like A House Fractured?  No, curiously I feel fractured but I see myself in the mirror and I’m whole, standing still like a house.  The mirror may be fractured, but my eyes still swivel like windows in this head, guided by a nose that acts as a weather vane.  I open and close my…

Recovering your self in 7 days

Hollowday There’s a hollow in me; an absence.  Like a piece of furniture missing from a room I haven’t been in for years.  I enter knowing something’s changed and I can’t say what.  There’s just the feeling.  Hollow. Dumbday I feel dirty on the inside.  I scrub the outside; wet hair, towel and soap, and…

PTSD, cPTSD, and Dissociative Experiences

I wanted to write something about the relationship some of us have to traumatic experiences from our past.  It seems important that I write this from an intuitive, non-technical place.  For me, this is because intution – as opposed to fear – is what we need to develop regarding our power to manage our way…

Narcissistic Abuse Part 1: heart of darkness

This post is not intended as a guide for diagnosing or labelling individuals, but instead highlights the detrimental effects narcissistic individuals (including sociopathic, psychopathic and other exploitative personalities) can have upon us.  Being able to recognise some of these effects can help us protect ourselves and seek effective help in recovering from the toxic relationships…