Reactive Abuse: kicking the dog

“For the devil has no power . . . except in the dark.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones Beyond the Stereotype We’re accustomed to thinking of abuse as something that we can see with our eyes and show to other people.  The abuser raises a fist, can be heard through a wall, leaves a…

Destructive Envy and the Hungry Family

envy a feeling of discontent or covetousness of another’s advantages, possessions, or attainments; desire for something possessed by another: I envy her talent for decorating. Not to be confused with: jealousy – jealous resentment against a person enjoying success or advantage; anger or fear of losing something or someone to a rival http://www.thefreedictionary.com Far from…

Affirmation

Affirmation Affirmation is a fundamental need we all share and is a source of identity stability and what we call ‘self-esteem’. It is the felt recognition of myself as the being that I am. And recognition of the other, as the being he or she is. It is like saying ‘I see you, I accept…

Mental Distress and Suicide

Statistically, suicide is the highest cause of death in men between age 20 and 49.  This is not to diminish the female suicide rate, merely to present statistics.  And the suicide statistics are shocking, with greater numbers of men taking their own lives than are killed in road accidents, or by cancer and coronary heart…

Recovering your self in 7 days

Hollowday There’s a hollow in me; an absence.  Like a piece of furniture missing from a room I haven’t been in for years.  I enter knowing something’s changed and I can’t say what.  There’s just the feeling.  Hollow. Dumbday I feel dirty on the inside.  I scrub the outside; wet hair, towel and soap, and…

Narcissistic Abuse Part 1: heart of darkness

This post is not intended as a guide for diagnosing or labelling individuals, but instead highlights the detrimental effects narcissistic individuals (including sociopathic, psychopathic and other exploitative personalities) can have upon us.  Being able to recognise some of these effects can help us protect ourselves and seek effective help in recovering from the toxic relationships…

The Outsider Part 1: clarifying our place in society

If there’s one area of my work that I have a special interest in it’s working with people who feel like they don’t fit in or who find themselves rejected by the group. I wanted to start writing a series of posts on this subject because of the confusion and assumptions that we typically make…